Doctor Liptsvitch’s Interactive Patient Blog

Latest Updates: election RSS

• 

  dvandelmar 11:44:01 am on September 12, 2008 | 1 | # |
  Tags: ac cooper, anderson cooper, cindy mccain, cnn, election, election 2008, i love palin, john mccain, mccain, obama, PALIN, palin the retard, sarah palin, trig, trig plain

  I feel for you. You have a brave face while staring at certain death. Obama feels a lot like Custer at his last stand. I promise I won’t rub Obama’s certain loss in your face in January.

  If she’s a “hockey mom,” she’s willing to go to blows in the stands. She’ll pull out a Dirty Harry special and put a few holes in Putin. I have complete faith in her. I remain steadfast in this decision to have Sarah Palin as my vice president. I’m wetting myself at the thought of Obama, a completely inexperienced and very easy to rattle guy, being number one on the ticket. Palin is number two. You compare an apple to a gun on this one. Krusty vs. Obama. It’s a no brainer. By the way, have you seen Biden lately? I think Obama may yank him and install Hillary. If Obama’s pride hadn’t gotten in his way, he would be up on McCain by at least 25 points. Now he’s having to kiss the Clinton’s asses to stay competitive. Makes me sick to see Obama sprint to clinton’s office and suck cock for help. Not very presidential in my eyes.

  Here’s the reality. You all are prep school elitists who look down your noses at guys who attended the DeVry Universities of the world. The fact is the successful guys I know rarely attended elitist universities. You claim she has an IQ of 90. Just the ability to stand in front of 38.5M people and hit a home run speech, tells me that it hovers around 100. I know you struggle with the thought of a Harvard educated man, who is as liberal as they come, and is changing positions with the fluidity and predictability of the tides, getting hammered by a veteran who has actually serviced his country and can barely jerk off with his broken arms. McCain is Change. Palin forever. Drill baby drill. Kill wolves. Let God direct our foreign policy.

  I welcome this change that really isn’t change, because I can’t stand to see Obama begging. Begging the Clinton’s for salvation.

   

• dvandelmar 02:48:30 pm on September 11, 2008 | 1 | # |
  Tags: ac 360, ac cooper, anderson cooper, cindy mccain, code red, election, election 2008, humor, i love palin, life, love, mccain, obama, relationships, sara palin, the retard, trig palin

  I stalked a gal for a few days until I saw her walk out of her house. It was dark. She wore a leather jacket down past her rear. I could see the outline. Not bad. Enough for fun. A friend had mentioned her as a possibility. I called her, and we met for lunch. I had a party to attend on Friday night. She came with me. A bunch of beers into the night. She grabbed my hand and asked me to leave. We drove to my house and poured one last cocktail and sat on the couch. Not sure if I even took a sip before I ripped her clothes off. No foreplay. She loves to talk in the middle. I love it. She wants it harder. It wasn’t working. I stalled for some time. Too drunk. Fell asleep. Out cold.

  At about 3am something is wrong. Code Red stands above me. She’s whimpering. Feels rejected. Fully dressed. Even wearing her overcoat. I had barely been with her. Only a couple dates. She expects what? So I’m drunk. I fall asleep. We’re far from married. Isn’t she supposed to be trying to land me? Best foot forward? The pressure. The best in bed are those who allow. They ask you to stop and try later. Code Red expects volumes. Immediately. Too much pressure.

  She says she’s going to walk home. Completely outrageous. At least four miles away, and it’s bitterly cold. I jump into a pair of jeans and fleece. I told her I’ll drive her. We get to my car, and she cries harder. She asks why I don’t care. This is our first date. Can you imagine being married to this. No wonder why she’s divorced. I said flatly that she gets to make a choice. Come back to bed, or go home. She comes back to bed. I deliver a courtesy. She cuddles next to me for the remainder of the darkness.

  I called her six months later on a warm sunny evening. A few scotches in. She was engaged after having known a guy for three weeks.

   

• dvandelmar 02:58:20 pm on September 10, 2008 | 0 | # |
  Tags: ac cooper, anderson cooper, election, election 2008, krusty, mccain, obama, PALIN, the retard, trig palin

  You are so rattled and clinging to hope that someone in the real world will read this shit you send from the internet. We all know the commercials are rooted in fact. Stretched a little, but there is fact. I harken back to Barnacle Bill and his seemingly fruitless search for a head coach. You will survive with Sarah as your VP. The sun will return in the east. The birds will sing with joy. Children will grow up to love Krusty.

  The reality is Obama is under the gun and not tested. This test is nothing compared to the games we will face with Putin in the future. Krusty will stand tall to Putin. He knows the cold war. Obama looks too feminine. Putin will kick his ass. Putin knows Krusty didn’t jack off for six years while he was strung up from a pole in an NVA POW camp. Can you imagine not blowing a load for that long? I’d cave for certain. Not Krusty.

  You saw the pictures of Putin in the river. He’s borderline insane. He sent a battleship to the Caribbean to run maneuvers with Hugo Chavez. He’s in talks with Cuba to reestablish ties. The guy is a major threat to this country in time. I view him as a borderline Hitler prior to invading Austria. I want a tough son of a bitch in office who will stand up to him. There’s only one candidate who has proven balls and that is Krusty.

  Rest assured Putin would love a soft, borderline homosexual to face off against. Krusty would bite him and poke his eyes out. Obama would try to bullshit his way out with rhetoric.

  Bottom line, it’s us against the Reds. I trust Krusty.

   

• dvandelmar 08:32:02 am on September 10, 2008 | 1 | # |
  Tags: ac 360, ac cooper, biden, cnn, creationism, election, election 2008, fox, maverick, maverick my ass, mccain, obama, PALIN, the retard. palin, trig

  Its so bad. MSNBC and CNN went so far left I had to turn it. I struggled with Fox and the Weather Channel.  

  Obama is starting to fray. The pig comment wasn’t smart. He needs to leave her alone and let Biden go after her. Biden is out in left field. Not sure what he looks like. But maybe he corners her as some right wing creationist ushering retardation to our shores … might work.

  Gergen doesn’t understand why they have Palin in a box. 

  AC 360 did a fact check on Palin. Here is what he came up with:

  She tripled spending on special needs kids. Not cut by 60 percent. She cares about the retard.

  We all know she’s full of shit on earmarks. But as long as Rove keeps shoveling this shit to southern Ohio and WalMart nation, we win. Honestly, if she’s a “maverick,” I’m a fucking queer. Doesn’t matter. The public is too stupid to tell the difference.

  She never banned books from the Wasilla library but did check on some — assume it was pornography. Tough hit. Essential the skin rags pull through. 

  Never said to not teach darwinism but did think the creationism side should be presented to the kids. Evolution might be too much for the retard’s brain. I get it.

  She thinks shooting wolves from a plane is good. Polar bears have some issues as well. Not sure what drilling has to do with polar bears. Here’s a fact I believe. Once you shoot shit, hunters want them preserved so they can continue to shoot this shit. And she loves to shoot shit. Bottom line. Global warming is not going to be prevented by 600,000 people living in AK. That wilderness is massive beyond massive. People who live there may have some play in a hundred miles max in any direction of a city. But that doesn’t scratch the surface. 

  If I were an ultra wealthy guy, I’d start a news service in the middle. I’d have a guy on the right, a guy on the left, and Gergen. What you see are multi righters or lefters against only one on the opposite side. AC 360 could host. He’s a fag I know, but does a good job of being in the middle.

   

• dvandelmar 12:53:08 pm on September 8, 2008 | 3 | # |
  Tags: ac cooper, anderson cooper, election, election 2008, I'm sick of this, jesus he's retarded, leave trig alone, mccain, obama, overcoat, sarah palin, trig, trig palin, trig the retard

  Still haven’t heard from code red. With any luck I won’t. At this point, I’m terrified. I just had my cell go off and I didn’t answer, because I didn’t recognize the number. No message. Very hazardous.

  Trig is a retard. I get that. Just not why he’s being used for political capital. Let him live his retard life without any fanfare. Shouldn’t he be allowed?

  Wasn’t sure by the way things started. Out for dinner. Had a  couple beers by myself. I have bad gas. Hammered the joint a couple times for fun. I love sitting silently watching people freak. Slow how the odor penetrates. A sniff. Try to hold your breath. Then they vacate. They get absolultely pissed. I could hear the comments if one or another did it and how disgusting. I doubt they know I do it.

  Fortunately, Overcoat showed after the air had cleared. She had a couple friends. Rough ones. We’re sitting at the bar and Flip Flop shows up with a  friend. That’s tough and I was getting tougher. First thing is to fire up a couple fast scotchies for moral support. Flip Flop sits next to me her friend runs interference for her. Overcoat is lost. I’m lost. But hard and trying to figure out how not to lose the night. I called  a friend from the bathroom for advice but he’s gone. Probably sleeping with the woman to whom he’d been married before. At least I have that going for me.

  Maybe it’s best that each learn that I’ve slept with the other in the last week. Let’s get it out. I actually look forward to the verbal asaault from all of them. I pull my seat back to form a semi-circle. But how to have conversation with all of them? Flip Flop is the brightest gal I’ve met. Overcoat has tits, but they’re fake.

  Overcoat and her friends leave. Flip flop leaves. I ask the gay bartender for a double. Pound it. My phone rings and it’s Overcoat. This is America.

   

• dvandelmar 01:40:41 pm on September 5, 2008 | 6 | # |
  Tags: ac cooper, biden, cindy mccain, election, gun, i love palin, I love pallin, I'll find her, joe biden, killing, mccain, mccain mud pit, moose killing, nra, obama, osmam, PALIN, pallin, politics, sarah palin, she owes me

  I don’t know much about her. Guns don’t bother me at all. If you live in Alaska, you shoot shit to eat. I think hunting is perfectly fine. Creationism totally freaks me out. Kids get knocked up. He’s a great looking guy. I refuse to judge that. Mccain certainly shook things up. I have a hard time believing he really wants her. She may be a great fuck.

  I’m pissed because I hear there’s a picture of Bristol in a bikini and i’m trying to find it to check out her ass.

  Mark my words. Pallin will go toe to toe with Biden in the debate. And if it turns to energy which it will, she smokes Biden. She runs a virtual country up there that borders Russia. This vaults her to a position of respect. Then all the gun toters march to the polls to cast a tally against Osama. I’m buying a gun. Huge semi-automatic with a night scope. The tree huggers down the street … I’m shooting their wildlife. All of it.

  She kills moose. Makes me horny and insane.

  I’m moving from this shit hole Connecticut to the great northern territories.

   
• 

  docliptz 08:40:04 am on June 27, 2008 | 1 | # |
  Tags: ac 360, ac 360 tax warrant, ac cooper, ahhh, anderson cooper, animals, barack, barack obama, bob, bob muntz, boredom, CAT HEAD, charlie brown, cindy mccain, cooper tax warrant, cow oral, dipshit, disembodied cat, disembodied cat head, doctor, dope, election, election 2008, FLOATING CAT HEAD, graphics bong, guys are pigs, hello, hi, humor, I AM IN CHARGE OF MONEY!, I WILL MAKE AN ASHTRAY OUT OF YOUR HEAD, IRAN, is, kitty, larry craig toilet paper passer, lawyer, life, lolcat, mark foley's friend, Martin, mccain, media, Mouth Breathers, muntz, my, my name is bob muntz, MY PENIS IS BIGGER THAN YOUR FISTS, my post, naked guy, name, news, obama, oral, politics, prussian shotgun, quarters, random, sculpture, Staturory Rape, tree huggers, VIDEO, yeah

  Jesus H. Christ – You’re all a bunch of fucking Loons!

  What the hell is the matter with you?  I mean, my wife and I take a few days off and go to the City to get waxed. I got a massage from a little Japanese man whose hands were just delightful (another story for another time), went shopping with Margret and ate some excellent Thai food. It was just a great break.

  Then I come back to this.

  Where to fucking start?

  Betsy:

  Look, even I don’t know how to run this blog thing right, wasn’t sure what meatspin was and I know better than to put a map in a blog. Stupid. Also, I hope your “lawyer” ends up being an ex-con with spider tattoos on his elbows and a tear drop from each eye. Don’t know what those mean? Ask the Internet stupid.

  Martin:

  Yeah, getting a job would be a good start for you, you degenerate papa’s boy. Getting money off your gas farm or whatever sure is an easy way to live isn’t it?  Oh, and how about honesty in therapy? If I’d known you were a child-loving freak I woulda paired you up with Biofuel for couple’s counseling. Yeah, get a new phone. I’ve been trying to reach you and all I get is some recording.

  Dean:

  Jesus Christ man, seriously? Where do I even begin. You emailed a video of a guy getting oral (let me guess – sex) from…a cow? What the Titty-fucking christ is wrong with you? Jesus. Where do I even begin?

  Oral? Really? Can you forward it to me?

  Biofuel:

  That language is really not necessary. Please refrain from using it.

  Muntz:

  You are off your rocker. Have you been taking your meds? Really, start them again.

  AND TO EVERYONE:

  I don’t like politics, please stop talking about them.

  Thanks-

  Dr. Liptsvitch

   
• 

  dvandelmar 10:25:43 am on June 26, 2008 | 0 | # |
  Tags: ac 360, ac 360 tax warrant, ac cooper, anderson cooper, cindy mccain, cooper tax warrant, dipshit, election, election 2008, larry craig toilet paper passer, mark foley's friend, mccain, media, Mouth Breathers, news, obama, politics

  i wrote anderson cooper last night. never wrote back in person or his blog. complete flake. guy is outrageous with his pout and lilt and designer facade. i’m sure he’s deep into a four-way with ralph nader, larry craig and mark foley. lipvitch might want to head straight over for freebie. more disfunction there than all of north Korea.

  robert lewis some solid go-getter send me this AC360 tax warrant last night. also found some children fawning over his homosexuality.

  Nate says:

  who gives a shit about him

  I do.

  Paul, maybe YOU need to get over trying to force everyone to think the way you do about Anderson, if you don’t like him, don’t read the posts about him here. And in case you didn’t know it, you don’t have to have an expectation of meeting someone you admire in order to admire them. Jesus Christ.

  I can tell you if i EVER slept with a man it wouldn’t be AC. chirst, i’m sure he’d make me take off my shoes then put a five-blade gillette with a moisturizing strip to my sack. the lengths these people go to.

  god is praying ACsexual pays his bills and stops all the editorial content.

  

   

• dvandelmar 01:48:19 pm on June 25, 2008 | 1 | # |
  Tags: ac 360, anderson cooper, cindy mccain, cnn, election, election 2008, mccain, Mouth Breathers, obama, politics, wolf blitzer

  jesus, the hezbollah supporter is polling 8 points higher than krusty. then he has the balls to place his medium rectangle so it pierces lasers of left wing conspiracy propoganda straight into my fucking cortex. this kind of shit should be banned. wolf blizter ac 360sexual already are on my shit list. i’m writing the editor as we speak. you think my sexual exploits are borderline? this type of stuff is making my asshole crush coal bickettes into blood diamonds.

  

   
• 

  docliptz 12:50:44 pm on June 24, 2008 | 0 | # |
  Tags: barack obama, democrats, election, election 2008, general election, john mccain, mccain, michelle obama, news, obama, politics

  What the fuck? This is not a fucking podium, it’s an interactive patient blog! I demand you all stop talking about politics immediately! Stop it!

   

• Are you mentally unbalanced? Would you like to blog about it? Send us an email at docliptz@gmail.com

  
  My blog is worth $2,822.70.
  How much is your blog worth?

  

• Pages

  • Patient Biographies & Diagnoses
    • Betsy McCleary Biography & Diagnosis
    • Bob Muntz Biography & Diagnosis
    • Dean Vandelmar Biography & Diagnosis
    • Martin Fritts – Biography & Diagnosis
    • Richard Biofuel Biography & Diagnosis
  • What the Fuck is this Shit?

• Recent Comments

  	Matt on Expose of Evil Mexican People …
  	BetsyBoo on Lou Dobbs Hates Mexicans
  	dave on Glenn Beck Republican Shi…
  	chrissquid on I hate flight of the conchords…
  	RagingAlchy on I hate flight of the conchords…

• Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries RSS
  • Comments RSS
  • WordPress.com

• Top Posts

  • Lou Dobbs Hates Mexicans
  • Expose of Evil Mexican People Doing Unspeakable Deeds!!!
  • SARAH PALIN IS A BIZARRO BARACK OBAMA

• Recent Posts

  • Constellations of Insanity
  • THE DOCTOR WEARS ADULT DIAPERS
  • Sometimes I wish I weren’t a doctor of …
  • DOCTOR, I NEED DRUGS
  • BURNING DOWN THE VATICAN

• Popular Tags

  ac 360 ac cooper anderson cooper barack barack obama bob bob muntz CAT HEAD cindy mccain disembodied cat disembodied cat head doctor election election 2008 FLOATING CAT HEAD Glenn Beck hello hi humor I AM IN CHARGE OF MONEY! IRAN is I WILL MAKE AN ASHTRAY OUT OF YOUR HEAD kitty lawyer life lolcat love Martin mccain MONEY Mouth Breathers muntz my my name is bob muntz MY PENIS IS BIGGER THAN YOUR FISTS my post naked guy name news obama politics random sarah palin VIDEO

• Blog Stats

  • 18,720 hits

• Blogroll

  • Doctor Liptsvitch’s Interactive Patient Blog

• Blog at WordPress.com
  Prologue theme by Automattic