I HEARD THIS SONG AND I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.
I’m the Peter Piper of the 1980’s
Got a long hard dick for all of the ladies
I don’t care if you got three babies
You can work the sitck in my Mercedes
If you wanna blow, just let me know
We can go backstage at the end of the show
I’ll look at you, and you will look at me
With my dick in my hands as you fall to your knees
You know what to do, ’cause I won’t say please
Just nibble on my dick like a rat does cheese!
WHO SINGS THIS SONG? I DO NOT KNOW AND I THINK IT IS A BAND.
THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. SOMETIMES I SEE THEM THROUGH MY VISUAL CORTEX’ES . CAN YOU SEE THEM? I HAVE THEM IN MY LINE OF SIGHT AND I AM PREPARED TO DEAL WITH THEM.
I WAS NOT HOME WHEN YOU CALLED DOCTOR. I WAS AT THE ARCADE BEING FRIENDLY. THE MAN THERE TOLD ME I HAVE TO LEAVE WHEN I PLAYED WITH THE JOYSTICKS. I DON’T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE. I WILL SET HIS BUILDING ON FIRE. FIRST I WILL LOCK THE DOOR AND GET A 55 GALLON DRUM FULL OF GAS ON THE ROOF. THEN I WILL LEAK IT THROUGH THERE TO THE FLOOR. THEN I WILL SET HIS BUILDING ON FIRE.
IF HE IS NOT THERE I WILL FIND HIM AND I WILL GIVE HIM A COLOMBIAN NECKTIE. THOSE ARE CLASSY.
I AM A MAN. I AM WHITE. I SHOULD BE PRESIDENT. I NEED YOUR MONEY BECAUSE THE MONEY I GOT THAT I WAS HOLDING FOR MY FRIENDS (ERGO BELOW) IS NOT ENOUGH. I NEED MORE. SEND ME YOUR MONEY. BY THE WAY, JOHN MCCAIN IS AN ALIEN WHO FEEDS ON THE BLOOD OF HIS WIFE. HE CANNOT GO OUT IN THE SUN BECAUSE HE WILL BURN ALIVE. HE MUST BE DEFEATED.
I SAW YOUR WIFE IN THE WINDOW THE OTHER DAY. SHE WAS NAKED AND TRYING ON SOME CLOTHES. I SPURTED ON THE BUSHES OUT FRONT. SORRY DOC. THOUGH I’VE HEARD THAT’S GOOD FOR THEIR HAIR, SO YOU MAY HAVE HAIRY BUSHES.
SOMEDAY I TOO WILL BE ABLE TO FREELY EXPRESS MYSELF BY BECOMING A HERO TO THE GENERATIONS OF UNTOLD VICTIMS OF THE MASSACRE OF MIND FREEDOM. YOU HAVE ALL BECOME EDUCATED STUPID WITH YOUR CROWNS OF THORNS WHICH BECOME THORNED HEARTS TEARING AWAY AT YOUR SANITY.
MR. DICK CHOONG WANTS ME TO MONITOR MONEY!!!111!!!!
MR. DICK CHOONG IS A BANK GUY. HE HAS CONTACTED ME. HAS HE CONTACTED YOU? IS THIS REAL? WHY DO THEY WANT MY MONEY?
I AM NOT A BANKER. WHY DO THEY THINK I CAN DO THIS? I AM A LAWYER.
I AM NOT AN ANORAK.
Hello:
I am Richard Choong (General Manager Internal Audit) Maybank Malaysia. I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I contacted you independently of our investigation and no one is informed of this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you. I know you would be wondering why I am writing you with a request such as this but I only urge you to read on. I decided to contact you through email due to the urgency, anyway I need your co-operation in receiving US$10.5Million that has been in a dormant account with my bank since 1997 under inheritance claim. 30% of the total sums will be accrued to you upon the confirmation of the funds in your nominated account.
Although it may seem small, but you have to understand and accept this since 40% of the total sum will go to charity, as my entitlement here is also 30%. I need your co-operation here because the account holder an Iraqi Chieftain and businessman died at the war I find out this during the course of our internal audit, I have tried to reach any of the next trustees, but to no avail and since I am not in position to make the claim, I can establish you before the bank as the heir to the bequest.
It is very important that the claim is made, as the bank will turn the funds over to the treasury anytime from now if it remains unclaimed. I will provide you with detailed information on the modalities of this operation once I have your interest but I must say that trust flourishes business. Therefore let your conscience towards this proposal be nurtured with sincerity.
Please make sure you send your reply through my private email address ( choongrich2@web2mail.com ) and I shall provide you with further details of this operation.
Regards,
Mr. Richard Choong.
Jesus H. Christ – You’re all a bunch of fucking Loons!
What the hell is the matter with you? I mean, my wife and I take a few days off and go to the City to get waxed. I got a massage from a little Japanese man whose hands were just delightful (another story for another time), went shopping with Margret and ate some excellent Thai food. It was just a great break.
Then I come back to this.
Where to fucking start?
Betsy:
Look, even I don’t know how to run this blog thing right, wasn’t sure what meatspin was and I know better than to put a map in a blog. Stupid. Also, I hope your “lawyer” ends up being an ex-con with spider tattoos on his elbows and a tear drop from each eye. Don’t know what those mean? Ask the Internet stupid.
Martin:
Yeah, getting a job would be a good start for you, you degenerate papa’s boy. Getting money off your gas farm or whatever sure is an easy way to live isn’t it? Oh, and how about honesty in therapy? If I’d known you were a child-loving freak I woulda paired you up with Biofuel for couple’s counseling. Yeah, get a new phone. I’ve been trying to reach you and all I get is some recording.
Dean:
Jesus Christ man, seriously? Where do I even begin. You emailed a video of a guy getting oral (let me guess – sex) from…a cow? What the Titty-fucking christ is wrong with you? Jesus. Where do I even begin?
Oral? Really? Can you forward it to me?
Biofuel:
That language is really not necessary. Please refrain from using it.
Muntz:
You are off your rocker. Have you been taking your meds? Really, start them again.
AND TO EVERYONE:
I don’t like politics, please stop talking about them.
i don’t smoke dope unless i’m forced to. but this week put the hammer down. just buried my face in a seven foot graphics at the tree huggers. i might plow a few more handfulls this weekend. just a pile of bullet points because i can’t focus. then i’m headed to Charlie Brown’s to troll the patio.
forwaded this youporn video of some guy getting oral from cow to some friend’s wife by accident. huge mistake. she wrote this three word message back: “really. it’s ok.” jesus, it’s not. i responded:
Never in a million years would I try to tell you I don’t have issues. As long as I’m having fun, I don’t want them resolved. I feel absolutely compelled to write you. I did not send the cow giving oral to some naked guy. It was a mistake. Go back and check the email string.
1. I don’t like to have sex with sheep either
2. I don’t get excited by watching a guy receiving from a cow
3. I didn’t send it
4. It is completely disgusting but so outrageous I had to take action
5. I did show it to a couple guys in my office
6. They thought it was funny and asked me to forward it to them
7. At this point at least 100 other people have received it from them
8. Guys are PIGS and our humor is fundamentally different than a woman’s
9. Neither of the two guys who watched it were sexually aroused by the video clip
I realize my reputation is significantly below the gutter and can live with this. However, I cannot live with you thinking a cow giving a guy oral would turn me on. I do have some standards’. I draw the line at animals.
thanking god biofuel dropped cunt on the blog. know we can move on. oh yeah, yesterday i got cunted by my ex-cunt. i called some disabled kid a “basket case” at an eight grade baseball game. you would have thought i masturbated in the vatican’s offering plate. flames of my personal hell were doused by her tidal wave of moral indignation. then i hit the yukon for a dewars.
lipvitch claimed he’s going to get some “eyeballs” to the blog and “monetize” it with some “banners.” i told that motherfucker if i as much as sniff a text ad here i’m pulling the plug. if you hadn’t noticed, his phd is in bullshit and ignorance.
i think i would fuck anderson cooper. as long as it wasn’t in the beltway or the village. and his hair stayed combed. plainly horrified by what would emanate from his mouth in the process. praying to god it wouldn’t involve wolf blitzer and john king early polling analysis in any way.
the mentor is having a tough go. he cannot deal with things anymore. he barely even talks to me. all is caving in. his partners are forcing him to sell. about 200k lower than he thought. the prussian shotgun stands in the corner of his bedroom. if he does it, i hope for his kids sake, he waits until a heavy thunderstorm and goes outside.
it’s constant. i’m with one gal and my phone rings with another gal’s number popping up. we both look at it in silence. i refuse to answer it. they must know. and the worst part is i don’t care. it would simply eliminate another problem if she get’s angry and leaves. but that won’t happen either.
i silver dollared some gray slacks in front of some old high school girls at wine party. they didn’t say a word.
tree huggers made me watch this video.
Are you mentally unbalanced? Would you like to blog about it? Send us an email at docliptz@gmail.com
