Bjorn says “I am a tåknology expêrt, birthed in Swëdën. My pãrents — Pappa Quifqvist and Mamma Qvistqvist — sold herring to pay for my stûdyings in America. They say my great-great-great-pappa — Thorsson Quifman Qvist — was a Viking who sailed to America and slaughtered many Indïans. They say this is my country for the plûndering. I like sweatbands, ABBA, blönde females, and herring. Thãnk you.”

Obviously Bjorn’s lack of the English shows how non-seriously he takes his life and how I am to approach his diagnosis. So far, I think that Bjorn is a narcissist with psychotic tendencies. He also shows signs of an addictive personality, what with the Percocet he stole from my private stash.