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  • dvandelmar 12:19 pm on August 20, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , all fours, , , degradation play, depressed, desperation, desperation button, divorce, hillary, , , , my name is dean, , , presidential election   

    Degradation Zone: My Play 

    Scene 1:

    Got home at 4:15 am. Brutal. Went back to the well. Drove to her house with a  hardon and robe. Told her I’m not coming over unless she’s on all fours in the kitchen with a vibrator shoved up her pussy. It’s outrageous that it takes this kind of degradation to get me wound up. It’s wrong. And I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. I’m pissed I was with this gal again. It’s no good. But hit the desperation button.

    It’s amazing how many women hate me now. It’s a nightmare. And I don’t talk. I can’t figure out how they know.


    Scene 2:

    I think she’s a dental hygienist. The concern I have is that she has written about me walking past her while she’s naked. That rings of commitment. As though I should give her more. And more is not something of which I am capable. We did sleep together, so there is an implied contract. However, with her I can use the same line I use with the others. “You are too recently divorced to be allowed to date or even get serious. You must keep yourself safe and the smartest thing to do is just have fun and keep it light. It’s against the rules to fall in love until a minimum of a year post divorce.”  

    I figure with this criteria I have a year. Then it’s legal for them to fall in love. I’m going to fuck her once more then roll to the next. I need to fill the pipeline though. I’ve been with the same gals now for awhile and I’m utterly bored. It’s also getting dicey. Thank God I didn’t go to Charlie Brown’s on Saturday. I was told the squirter was there and haven’t taken one of her calls in months. I can only imagine a drunk squirter interrogating me about why I am such a fucking asshole male chauvinist …

    • docliptz 12:51 pm on August 20, 2008 Permalink | Reply


      Dear God man. When’s your next session? We need to talk.


    • manupmen 2:05 pm on August 20, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      You are having quite a time! Would love to interview you for my follow-up book.

      John Bryan Stone
      author of Have a Great Midlife Crisis

  • docliptz 1:02 pm on August 4, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , beard, bitch, divorce, ethel, , ugly dude, ugly guy, weed,   

    My Wife Left Me For a Homeless Guy 

    I don’t know what to do. Ethel left me for this dude who obviously doesn’t shave, doesn’t bathe, smokes a lot of weed and doesn’t even have a full-time job.

    Some asshole who’s been staying at our house because I’m a very kind Samaritan. He was homeless on the street probably eating his own feces and sleeping in puddles of his own piss. When I put my eyes on his poor situation I had no choice but to let him in the car. He promptly vomited on my brand new crushed velvet seats. Yeah, that’s how I roll – crushed velvet is very chic. I saw it on MTV.

    I forgave him for vomiting though – my blog is worth thousands of internet dollars, so making up for it was simple. Ethel says that the “money” I get for this blog is not real money, so she’s tired of being the provider.

    Women don’t understand that I am going to be famous one day for creating the world’s first patient blog. If you agree, you should send me money. Invest in the future now.

    • Nina Ogrodowczyk 6:54 am on November 19, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      Hahahhahahahahaaahahahahaha! 🙂

    • Liam 6:57 am on November 19, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      It seems to me that your wife made the right decision in leaving your sorry ass.

  • docliptz 12:56 pm on August 4, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ashton kutcher, assrape, county jail, cut off my nuts, demi moore, divorce, jail, junior high, nut cutting whores, , rant, suzi is a cocktease, whore, , women suck   

    I hate County Jail 


    Again, I need to rant. That’s the point of this thing right?

    Well, why is it that Demi Moore can have some 17 year old boy to boff, and yet society looks down on older men with younger women? I mean, all I ever hear from my female friends (yeah Suzi I’m looking at you) is “oh my god, can you believe how hot that Ass-ton Kutcher is? Demi is soooo lucky,” but whenever I mention that I enjoy the derriere of a Junion High school girl, I get slapped?

    Then there’s the harassment charges.They can’t make them stick though. Been down this road before.

    Fucking women. On a similar topic, the wife had papers served to me again. YES, AGAIN! How many times must we go through this….  Jesus. Why doesn’t she just come over and cut off my nuts like she wants to?


  • dvandelmar 8:42 pm on June 16, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: boner, cooking, cooking with kathy, divorce, sex meals   

    cooking with Kathy 

    i have the most incredible idea for a book. i wonder if anyone has had this idea? cooking with Kathy.

    teaching a daughter to cook and trying to sleep with everything on the off weekend.

    I doubt anyone has had this idea?

    let me know. The hard part is finding sex meals. I have about ten or so. i need another 40 but have a few gals who don’t know each other working in my favor. if it gains popularity it could be huge. cuba. italy. god knows how many states. a couple recipes. jumbalaya. pussy. a story about my daughter stirring a cast iron skillet. back to sex and thinking about it while helping your daughter not spill anything out of the skillet and you get a boner. it has to be hilarious and completely outrageous but have fun recipes as well. The fact is this is my life. I hunt for recipes that will take a long time for us to make. Kathy loves it. Then the other life kicks in. You have no ability to judge as you live with an ex-wives or future divorces.

    I love this. 100 pages. ADD special. perfect for me and 99% of men excluding the bible belt.

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