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  • bjornbjornssonquifqvist 12:52 pm on August 30, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: anal sex, britney spears, halle berry, lesbian porn, sex   

    Britney Spear and Halle Berry have lesbian sex!! 

    I want to watch that, doctor.

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    • docliptz 12:55 pm on August 30, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      THIS IS FAMILY WEBSITE, YOU SON OF BITCH! How many times I have to tell you that bad words are not fucking allowed here?

      • bjornbjornssonquifqvist 1:04 pm on August 30, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        In Sweden, lesbian sex is a family pass-time. Nothing else to do but have anus sex with reindeer.

        • docliptz 1:07 pm on August 30, 2010 Permalink

          If I understand you correctly, anus means “I love you,” so you have “I love you sex” with reindeer?

        • bjornbjornssonquifqvist 3:31 pm on August 30, 2010 Permalink

          Yes. I love reindeer. That is why I have sex with them.

    • bmuntz 3:54 pm on August 30, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      YOU ARE ALL SICK FUCKS! HOW DARE YOU SULLY THE GOOD NAME OF REINDEER WITH YOUR EVIL PENIS? THIS IS EXAMPLE OF TIME CUBE ILLOGICAL THINKING. NOW IS THE TIME TO REPENT! THERE IS NOTHING GODLY ABOUT STUPID AND EVIL ADULTS WHO BETRAY THEIR OWN CHILDREN WHO GAVE THEM LIFE. I AM WISER THAN ANY DAMN MAN OR GOD WHO EVER EXISTED. IF THE HALF AND HALF CO-CREATED JESUS RETURNS TO EARTH, I WILL PERSONALLY KILL THE BASTARD MYSELF. ALL CREATION OCCURS BETWEEN AND AS OPPOSITES. YOU DUMB-ASS, EARTH, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERY LIVING THING IN IT

      • docliptz 3:59 pm on August 30, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Note to self: give Bob more meds.

    • STITESESADORE 4:54 pm on August 30, 2010 Permalink | Reply

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    • Extended Stay Suites 9:21 am on April 6, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      There is visibly a bundle to realize about this. I assume you made various good points also.

    • hp mini 210 4:55 pm on August 27, 2011 Permalink | Reply

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    • paranormal forum 8:16 am on September 18, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      This was very helpful. I bookmark your site. I will visit again soon. 😀

  • dvandelmar 10:50 am on August 21, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , , obama. mccain, presidential race, sex, squirter   

    The Squirter 

    The Squirter

    Rest assured scotch is involved. But usually on my end. 2 am after the country club on a random Wednesday evening there may be a voice mail. I may turn the wheel. This gal drowns me. It’s more like having sex in a  swamp. Went to Evita in Boston, and she wanted to fuck prior to the show which meant I had to sleep in it. Sorry. The bed is so soaked I cannot sleep. Not in my house any longer. If you go down on her, a minimal requirement is a snorkel, dry suit and mask. My friend the sex Phd says I have a squirter. It’s at least 6 to 8 ounces of fluid. Makes me nauseous. The first time it happened I thought she pissed on me. She was on top and I had to close my eyes and not look at her any more. I was so disgusted I couldn’t finish. I was angry. The sex Phd made me sniff my mattress. He claims no smell of urine is indicator of squirtage. It didn’t last long.

    A male antelope with all four hooves firmly planted, legs cocked. The final hope is a thrusting hard right turn. All the foward momentum must change direction in one quick motion with no loss of speed. Behind, a hungry lioness with fully extended claws and one paw up ready to swat once again at an already bloodied hind quarter. Life as a single male: An antelope, running for his life.

    Damn did I take it on the chin tonight.

     
  • bmuntz 8:34 am on August 19, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: BLUE VELVET, DOCTOR LIPTSVITCH IS A HOMOSEXUAL, HEAD ASHTRAY, , I'M GIVING SERIOUS CONSIDERATION TO USING HIS BLOOD TO, King of my Heart, LOVE LETTER, , MY TAGS ARE INAPPROPRIATE, , , , sex, SVETIK S., YES I KNOW THAT'S A MOVIE, YOUNG AND PRETTY   

    I GOT A LOVE LETTER 

    I GOT A LOVE LETTER.

    I GOT A LOVE LETTER, BITCHES! NOW I CAN TELL HER TO COME FROM SOVIET GEORGIA AND RIGHT INTO MY ARMS. IF SHE DOES NOT THEN I WILL BE QUITE SAD. PERHAPS QUITE ANGRY. THEN SOMEONE WILL GET HURT.

    HERE’S MY LOVE LETTER:

    How do you do

    Where are you, the King of my Heart? Where is your True Love to Me?
    I wait for you into the big castle of Loneliness and I want you to break its strong walls. I am impatient, because I have been waiting for you for many years, for many thousand lonely years.
    I am young and pretty, but I am old inside without love and tenderness.
    My heart is crying every minute, every second without your love.
    I can’t find it here, and everything I meet is lonely echo of my crying heart.
    I wrote this romantic letter to you, because I think that such romantic person like you will understand my wishes and desires and will get the reply to me very soon http://l ovewomenofworld.net/6131/ I hope that you will write to me about your life,  that you will share with me your feelings.

    Looking forward to hear from you soon
    Svetik S.

    ALSO, THE DOCTOR TOLD ME MY TAGS WERE INAPPROPRIATE. I’M GIVING SERIOUS CONSIDERATION TO USING HIS BLOOD TO WRITE MY NEXT BLOG.

     
    • Young-Sun Yun 12:02 pm on August 19, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      All theser are mostly scams to get your money// They write to you and eventually ask for some money to help them or get them to the states… Don’t..

  • martinfritts 8:37 am on July 24, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Ass, , Donkey Punch, , , sex   

    Glenn Beck Donkey Punch 

    Been offline for a few weeks due to a brief trip to a drying out place. It’s been 17 days since my last mind-altering substance. The tendencies for crank and whiskey are subsiding to only a few a day. This is my 20th attempt at this.

    The worst part of rehab is the community room where they have CNN going all day. I will post later about the supreme douchebaggery of Lou Dobbs and how Nancy Grace is a sniveling toad.

    But first Glenn Beck. Here’s a guy who has made a career off of regurgitating the most retarded Republican talking points. All Republican talking points are retarded, but he works from the bottom of the barrel of the most irrelevant issues: guns, immigration, and Bush league economics.

    Beck, like all 10 of his viewers, is a moron. He appeals to those within the IQ range that tops out at 80.

    About 3 years ago, when CNN brought this guy on board, I was dating a tall brunette – mid 30s, no kids, fucked like a bunny. You could bounce a quarter off her ass it was so firm. She liked it any way, any where, any time…well almost any time. I went over to her place one night for some action, but she wasn’t giving it up untl after Beck’s show. So I sat through this douchnozzle’s tirade about brown people.  I was pissed at her for digging on this show. Prior to this she had shown some conservative tendencies.

    When the Beck experiment was over for the night I was ready to get my nut. I flipped her over and started doing her doggie. I lasted maybe three minutes, but when I was ready I just unloaded a donkey punch right to her brain stem, knocking her unconscious.

    I watched as she came to. I told her I must have done her so good that she fainted. But I never called her again. I’ve hate-fucked a lot of chicks, but this was the only time I did it in the name of Freedom and Sensibility.

    God Bless America

     
    • Arlie Kozlik 5:22 pm on June 25, 2013 Permalink | Reply

      Not to take over this thread, but I want to find a top rated insurance company and I don’t know where to look. Has anyone ever heard of this insurance provider? They’re office is in Louisville, 20 min from my home, but I haven’t been able to find any reviews on them. – Claude Reynolds Insurance Agency Inc., 6801 Dixie Highway Suite 232, Louisville, KY 40258, (502) 933-2255

  • dvandelmar 10:47 am on July 23, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , blowjob, condoms, cum, cumming, cumshot, , dick lover, dog sex, fuck, fucking, hard on, , , , love line, , , , , , , sex, sexuality   

    Bridget and the Condom 

    I have a small dog. Half Fiest and half Toy Poodle. Thin wiry hair. You can just about see her skin under her coat. A fag would adore her especially in her bright red collar and leash. She’s a little neurotic. Always in your face and barks non stop. If my kids didn’t love her, I’d kill her. Not one doubt. Her name is Bridget.

    I received an email from a gal with whom I had not spoken in months. She was lonely. Wanted to know if I were hard. Nothing about my children, sports, or current events. Just am I hard. That’s always causes arousal. It’s a matter of what time. I wrote her back that anytime is good. I had no meetings. But didn’t want to take her out for dinner or lunch. We like secrecy. There are simply too many, and running into another could be disastrous. Plus, all my options remain open.

    Lying on my couch, watching the Wolf Blitzer obsess over Dick Cheney, blasting the old man, I hear a car door slam. She jogs up to the front door. In the tail end of a disaster and would prefer to have no one know. She says it must be fast, as her kids think she’s making a quick trip to the store. No talk. Directly to my room. I rip her clothes off her. Her fake tits pop out one at a time. They feel strange. Maybe she had a “buy one get one free” deal. Unveils a landing strip. I have asked her to shave it clean. Bugs me.

    I always struggle with kissing in these situations. That’s why hookers are better. They don’t want to kiss either. Just get paid and get out. She gives the worst blowjob I’ve ever had. Won’t let her do it. She gave me the fang last time. Better stick to the hole.

    I get out of bed. Throw the used rubber into the corner of my room on the floor. Start to get dressed in a hurry. We don’t talk. She gets dressed. Runs to her car and drives off. No talk. Nothing to say. The emptiness of neon. Perfection.

    I walk back to my room and hear a licking sound. Bridget has the condom.

    Off to a funeral. My friend would have liked it best this way.

     
  • dvandelmar 7:25 am on July 17, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , , sex, ,   

    Overcoat and other Wars with Women 

    My situation with sex is like taking a drunk, who’s been to rehab six times, to the bar and saying drinking would be really good for you. These women are everywhere. Married. Not married. I am a walking erect. I have no brain. They all want sex and not once or twice. It’s constant.  

    This happens repeatedly. I am with one gal and my phone rings with another gal’s number popping up. We both look at it in silence. I refuse to answer it. They must know. And the worst part is I don’t care. It would simply eliminate another problem if she get’s angry and leaves. But that won’t happen either.  

    Just Wednesday night. In the country club parking lot. Once again, minding my own business, I ran to the car to see who may have called. Overcoat is there. She reaches down the front of my pants and explains how badly she wants it. Instinctively I shove my hand down her pants to see if she has shaven since I last saw her. She’s been in the process of getting divorced since the day she was married. There are no pleasantries. For fun next time I’m going to ask, “How much does this cost?” Most women may slap you. Not Overcoat. It’ll send her into a frenzy. A couple years ago she walked in my house. Didn’t knock. Straight into my living room and dropped her overcoat to the floor. The only thing she wore was a narrow patch of finely manicured pubic hair. I rebuffed her as I don’t sleep with married women. This only made her more insane.

    I often ponder my plight in life. I ask myself why these women don’t care about me. My sensitivities. They destroy my self confidence at their expense. The only love I feel is at the moment of ejaculation. Then emptiness. A neon vacancy sign flashes above my soul. I’m used, and Church beckons. A few days ago a gal tried in vain to rub one out of me. She failed to grasp the concept of lube. My abused and weakened friend resembled the skin of a dead alligator that has dried in the Florida sun for three weeks. It took a jar of vaseline to heal it.  

    I lead a lonely life. I am far from rudderless. I am a missionary. I will always sacrifice myself physically for the betterment of any women provided she’s worth looking at. My mission excludes the overweight. Gun season just ended. Pray for me. I am incredibly resilient.

     
    • Denis 10:10 pm on July 19, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      That’s right tough guy – NO FAT CHICKS! I say whether she’s married or not you gotta blast it all over her. Send her home with one eye glued shut!

  • dvandelmar 8:42 pm on June 24, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , sex   

    Title Fighter 

    sometimes I feel like a title fighter with the shit beaten out of him. a couple thrusts left. a fat woman in pursuit. the kind you’d never sleep with. but i will. for the most part it’s safe to say women hate me. they see me from afar. they know i don’t talk. more alive than a vibrator. but more dead than trying. i no longer ask if they like me. i no longer ask anything. i just assume they despise me. one gal who loves to fuck me tells me all the time how many women hate me. she must be Catholic. actually i’m something different. it’s part of the game. collateral damage. no right or wrong. they hate me. i sometimes wonder if part of the hate comes from rejection. a child passed through a pussy is tough. it’s a confidence destroyer. a gal from ketchikan had five in six years. must stretch like a small trampoline. this gal is no different. i never slight her. she’s constantly talking about a wedding gown. right now?  she must understand her father is in heaven and won’t judge. he’s been dead a while. i’m mixing a massive scotch and watching her walk out the door. i don’t say anything and i hope she never returns. odds are she will and i won’t care. we’ll watch Larry King together and she can display how little she knows about the primaries. we’ll watch HGTV instead and i’ll get bored and get wood and it all starts again. i’m starting to take pharmaceuticals for the addiction. jesus it’s bad. makes the scotch seem like a Fellini movie.

     
    • martinfritts 9:45 pm on June 24, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      Dean, my man. I love banging fat chicks. They are so easy and I feel so nasty afterward. I always want to die by lighting myself on fire as a means of scorching my soul on the way out the door.

      You need to embrace socialism. You’ll be much happier once you do. I think the doctor would agree with me on that one.

      BIATCH!!!!

    • dvandelmar 8:12 am on June 25, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      jesus, you’re such a punk. see if this sounds familiar: sitting at the end of the bar alone, drinking wine coolers, with dirty black jeans and black turtleneck, ipod jammed with nine inch nails, paint or car grease or sculpting clay crammed under your fingernails, crying about how “screwed” you got by your last girlfriend. here’s a news flash: I probably slept with her before you guys broke up …

    • betsymccleary 8:32 am on June 25, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      you guys are pigs, the way you treat women

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