Tagged: wife Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • docliptz 2:37 pm on August 24, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , jaleel, jaleel urkel white, jaleel white, , urkel, wife, wife beating   

    Urkel Beats his Wife to Death and Buries the Body in Cellar 

    I read this story in the online news today. It is sad when a nerd grows up to be a wife-beater. If  he was my patient, I’d reverse the situation like I usually do and beat him until he can’t walk and must urinate out of tube.

    Then I’d sleep with his wife.

    Therapy works.

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  • docliptz 1:02 pm on August 4, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , beard, bitch, , ethel, , ugly dude, ugly guy, weed, wife   

    My Wife Left Me For a Homeless Guy 

    I don’t know what to do. Ethel left me for this dude who obviously doesn’t shave, doesn’t bathe, smokes a lot of weed and doesn’t even have a full-time job.

    Some asshole who’s been staying at our house because I’m a very kind Samaritan. He was homeless on the street probably eating his own feces and sleeping in puddles of his own piss. When I put my eyes on his poor situation I had no choice but to let him in the car. He promptly vomited on my brand new crushed velvet seats. Yeah, that’s how I roll – crushed velvet is very chic. I saw it on MTV.

    I forgave him for vomiting though – my blog is worth thousands of internet dollars, so making up for it was simple. Ethel says that the “money” I get for this blog is not real money, so she’s tired of being the provider.

    Women don’t understand that I am going to be famous one day for creating the world’s first patient blog. If you agree, you should send me money. Invest in the future now.

     
    • Nina Ogrodowczyk 6:54 am on November 19, 2008 Permalink | Reply

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    • Liam 6:57 am on November 19, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      It seems to me that your wife made the right decision in leaving your sorry ass.
      Loser

  • docliptz 8:57 am on June 23, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: cheating, fish, house, talking fish, wife   

    My Wife Finally Let Me in 

    My wife finally let me in the house.

    I went over this weekend to get my talking fish you hang on a wall and she actually let me in! I think this is a good sign, and she didn’t even try to threaten me or anything. Pretty amazing!

    I think next time I cheat on her I just won’t tell her.

     
    • martinfritts 12:44 pm on June 23, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      you gettin’ any?

    • martinfritts 12:53 pm on June 23, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      you should be knockin the bottom outta that action…some nice makeup secks!!!

    • docliptz 12:58 pm on June 23, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      My wife is not a dumpster Martin.

  • docliptz 1:14 pm on June 20, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: boxing, drinking, drunk, , Misogyny, ninja, , , wife   

    Dear God am I hungover again.

    This is unbelievable. I tried to go home but my wife apparently changed the locks. In one day she changed the locks. What the hell?

    I’m at my last straw. I swear to god if she throws my stuff out on the street again I’m gonna snap and close the bank accounts.

    So I went down to Pete’s Dirty Whiskey Pub last night.

    Downed some drinks. I think probably 30 or so shots. I also apparently got into a fight with some dickknocker with a pony tail. At least that’s what the cops told me this morning when I woke up. Not only do I have a hangover but also a broken nose and black eye. I think the guy was a boxer or a ninja. Either way, it was a two-hit fight. He hit me right after I told him his ponytail was gay. Then I hit the floor.

    I can’t believe my wife. Whore. Going to go find someone who sells hollow-points. Stay posted.

     
    • martinfritts 1:17 pm on June 20, 2008 Permalink | Reply

      Good thing she changed the locks ’cause I was in there bonin’ her…lolz

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